World Starts Turning Again

Every year I intend to watch the Oscars and every year I forget until it is almost two-thirds over. But God loves me anyway, for I turned on the TV just as they were awarding best original song to Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova for "Falling Slowly". This happened to be the most talked about, feel good moment of the show. It was made even more endearing by Market Irglova being brought back to finish her acceptance speech. The only disappointment was that she didn't finish by thanking Jon Stewart for allowing her to thank everyone.

I was also disappointed by the best-supporting results. I must admit to rooting for the sentimental favorites: Cate Blanchett for successfully redirecting her considerable sexiness towards straight females, and the venerable veteran Keith Richards for his small but impassioned performance in "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End".

Proud Tina

After a week of dire tragedies - the Northern Illinois University shootings, Paul McCartney and Heather Mills back in divorce court, McCain essentially clinching the republican nomination - one event stood out to remind us that God exists. I'm referring, of course, to Sunday night's awesome rendition of "Proud Mary" by Beyonce and Tina Turner at the 50th Grammy awards show. What can I say about Tina Turner - how can a woman in her 90s retain her natural beauty, grace, and that sensual agility with which she moves around the stage. And Beyonce - the only contemporary performer with even a remote chance of keeping up. And that figure - the template for Grade A females (the only reason Beyonce's thighs look fat is that the fashion industrial complex has conditioned us to believe that walking stick figures are normal). This was a performance that should be burned into every living being's memories. Unfortunately, it is is difficult to keep an active link of this duet "due to a copyright claim by a third party".

John McCain at the Grammys

Every year I intend to watch the Grammys and every year I forget until it is almost two-thirds over. But God loves me anyway, for not two minutes after tuning in did Lang Lang appear. Heebie Jeebies Heebie Jeebies! I'm not sure who the boring black guy playing with him was and that orchestra was totally unnecessary. Nevertheless, Lang Lang's performance was definitely the highlight of the show, much of which did not make much sense. Why, for example, was John McCain there playing "Great Balls of Fire"? And who was the black guy wearing mascara sitting behind him? It definitely wasn't Barack.

How To End A Relationship

The cover of one of Shiina Ringo's singles shows Ringo-chan paring a piece of fruit. On the inside liner notes is a close up of what she is actually cutting and it is her thumb, she is cutting off her thumb. I'm sure this is meant to represent an involuntary penectomy. After listening to Shiina's first album I had to place her up there beside Alanis Morissette in my pantheon of relationship gurus.

GIPS

Lang Lang Love

I came across this NY Times article dishing any pianist who doesn't sit immobile like a good catholic girl in Sister Ratchet's class. The main object of ire is Chinese pianist extraordinaire Lang Lang who the author infers is sacrificing the music for the theatrics. But witness Lang Lang's passion and then tell me he doesn't give you the heebie jeebies down below. This coming from a good catholic girl.