Exploding Baby

I lost my tooth today. It was a baby tooth that had been sitting in my head for the past 20 years waiting in vain for an adult to arrive and push it out. The end was rather dramatic - the tooth literally exploded as I bit into my breakfast. This was punishment for taking a second bagel.

Belching My Responsibilities

American Idol has begun, which means it is time to resume my duties. Jack Bauer and Barack Obama cannot save the world by themselves.

Sweet Foamy Gunk

Today our company barista outdid himself with the most delicious sweet, foamy creation I have ever experienced. Then I realized I had neglected to place an order; the double vanilla caramel cream latte thingie I was enjoying had been the desire of someone else. Perhaps the angry looking guy who had stormed out of the lunch room with a drip coffee in his hand?

I'm Lovin It

McDonald's coffee has gotten so much better ever since they changed their jingle to a more health conscious sequence of do-do-do-dos. Sitting in Biggs, overlooking the Columbia River, listening to the smooth voices of Dreams Come True while sippin an equally smooth brew of McCoffee - it put my synapses in a state of perfect synchronicity.

Free Caffeine

It must have been a slow day at Starbucks, for the barista was in the process of throwing out a couple gallons of coffee as I walked in. I didn't want to wait 20 minutes for a new brew, all I wanted was my finger tips to tingle and that could be accomplished just as well with dirty old coffee sludge. So she gave me a cup of the gunk she was cleaning out of hot pot for free. Which should of made me happy, except it still bugged me that she did not fill it all the way to the top.

Noriega Deposed

Mitt Romney now Danny Noriega, the only contestant man enough to stand up to Simon. Not satisfied with his elimination from American Idol, the federal government has jailed Danny on charges of drug trafficking, racketeering, and money laundering. This is the world we live, where the masses are incapable of recognizing the exceptional. It's like the year of the rat is gnawing on my capacitor of hope. I expect to wake-up tomorrow and learn Gossip Girl has been canceled.

World Starts Turning Again

Every year I intend to watch the Oscars and every year I forget until it is almost two-thirds over. But God loves me anyway, for I turned on the TV just as they were awarding best original song to Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova for "Falling Slowly". This happened to be the most talked about, feel good moment of the show. It was made even more endearing by Market Irglova being brought back to finish her acceptance speech. The only disappointment was that she didn't finish by thanking Jon Stewart for allowing her to thank everyone.

I was also disappointed by the best-supporting results. I must admit to rooting for the sentimental favorites: Cate Blanchett for successfully redirecting her considerable sexiness towards straight females, and the venerable veteran Keith Richards for his small but impassioned performance in "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End".