I'm Lovin It

McDonald's coffee has gotten so much better ever since they changed their jingle to a more health conscious sequence of do-do-do-dos. Sitting in Biggs, overlooking the Columbia River, listening to the smooth voices of Dreams Come True while sippin an equally smooth brew of McCoffee - it put my synapses in a state of perfect synchronicity.

Free Caffeine

It must have been a slow day at Starbucks, for the barista was in the process of throwing out a couple gallons of coffee as I walked in. I didn't want to wait 20 minutes for a new brew, all I wanted was my finger tips to tingle and that could be accomplished just as well with dirty old coffee sludge. So she gave me a cup of the gunk she was cleaning out of hot pot for free. Which should of made me happy, except it still bugged me that she did not fill it all the way to the top.

Noriega Deposed

Mitt Romney now Danny Noriega, the only contestant man enough to stand up to Simon. Not satisfied with his elimination from American Idol, the federal government has jailed Danny on charges of drug trafficking, racketeering, and money laundering. This is the world we live, where the masses are incapable of recognizing the exceptional. It's like the year of the rat is gnawing on my capacitor of hope. I expect to wake-up tomorrow and learn Gossip Girl has been canceled.

World Starts Turning Again

Every year I intend to watch the Oscars and every year I forget until it is almost two-thirds over. But God loves me anyway, for I turned on the TV just as they were awarding best original song to Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova for "Falling Slowly". This happened to be the most talked about, feel good moment of the show. It was made even more endearing by Market Irglova being brought back to finish her acceptance speech. The only disappointment was that she didn't finish by thanking Jon Stewart for allowing her to thank everyone.

I was also disappointed by the best-supporting results. I must admit to rooting for the sentimental favorites: Cate Blanchett for successfully redirecting her considerable sexiness towards straight females, and the venerable veteran Keith Richards for his small but impassioned performance in "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End".

Heebie Jeebie Fantasies

There are so many great talents in this year's crop of American Idol contestants. However, if there is one singer that stands out among the rest, it's gotta be Danny Noriega. He's Sanjaya with an attitude. After watching him strut his stuff last Tuesday, I haven't been able to stop dreaming of him, backed up by Lang Lang, while cutting my hair.

Your Next American Idol

Dymo with Wifi

I'm sitting in a Starbucks writing this blog on a brand new Dymo labeler. I have a very bad headache which I'm trying to drown with coffee. Unfortunately, the only way to completely rid my pain would be to get today's caffeine intake up to where my daily consumption has been the last couple of weeks. This is not possible without further beverage investments because the barista filled my cup an inch from the brim despite my saying in a loud and clear voice "NO room for cream!" I could go back and insist on the rest of the coffee I paid for, but that would be too confrontational and just make my headache worst.

Cut Me Baby One More Time

I got a haircut today. That makes ten in the last six months. It's not that I like changing my hair style, I just enjoy the whole beauty parlor experience. The smell, the conversation, the click click click of the scissors. The guy I'm currently dating says its more than that, something closer to a fetish, insinuating that hairdressers give me the heebie jeebies. He says he started shaving his head just to avoid having to 'waste' time at a barber shop. I think he is the one with a problem.